life’s a movie and it sucks but i can’t stop watching
The other day, I went for a walk, and I swear, the weight of the world just felt heavier than usual. The rise of fascism, the never-ending headlines about political turmoil, the looming uncertainty of what’s next—it was all just too much. And let’s not even talk about the $20 I spent on eggs, but hey, that’s a story for another time. Anyway, as I was walking, lost in my thoughts, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was ever going to feel okay again. Will I ever feel like things are normal? Will I ever stop feeling like the ground under me is constantly shifting, and that nothing will ever be right again? I know we all have those days where everything feels so off, and you question if anything will ever get better. But then, right in the middle of all that heaviness, something happened.
I noticed a butterfly. It was a simple thing, a soft brownish color, just floating by, like it was in no rush to go anywhere. It was just existing, being beautiful. And in that moment, I was so caught off guard by its grace that I couldn’t help but just stop and stare. I remember thinking, “Wow, this butterfly is beautiful.” And I didn’t even care who was walking by, who might have seen me standing there, mesmerized by something as simple as this butterfly. I was completely in the moment. And I started following it without even realizing it- just watching it glide, feeling like it was a gift sent straight from the universe to remind me of something that is easy to forget: the world is still beautiful, and there are still moments of wonder in it.
I caught myself, laughed a little, and thought, “Look at me. I’m chasing a butterfly like I’m six years old again because honestly, I felt like a kid again in that instant. That childlike wonder, the kind that just allows you to get lost in the beauty of something so small and fleeting, hasn’t left me yet. It was one of those rare, pure moments that make you realize how important it is to hold onto that kind of innocence, to still find joy in the small things, especially when everything else feels so overwhelming. I’m not sure when we start to lose that sense of wonder as we get older, but I hope I never lose it. Even on the hardest days, it’s moments like that butterfly, moments that might seem insignificant to anyone else, that feel like a blessing. It was a reminder that, no matter how much the world feels like it’s falling apart, there’s still beauty here. There’s still grace in the everyday, if we’re willing to look for it.
It’s easy to get consumed by the noise, the chaos. But in that moment, I was reminded that there’s always room for joy, even if it’s just for a second, in the middle of the bullshit. And still.. it wasn’t about anything grand or complicated. It was just a butterfly. And I very well could’ve kept walking and zoning out to my hyper fixation song of the week (Naive by Willow Smith) But I didn’t. It made me pause. It made me remember that no matter how down I might feel, there’s always something, somewhere, that will bring me back to the present, to that childlike awe. So yeah, as I walked away from that moment, I felt a little lighter. Like, maybe I could still breathe, like the world wasn’t so heavy after all. Maybe that’s the secret we all need moments of simple, unguarded joy that remind us that beauty is still everywhere, and all we have to do is let ourselves see it.
I felt blessed by the butterfly. It sounds silly, but I truly did. It wasn’t just the butterfly itself. It was the feeling, the reminder that even in the toughest times, there’s a chance to feel light again, to be reminded of the small, magical things that still exist. And I don’t ever want to lose that.
